a Short Accounte of some unusual and moste Exceptionall Out-houses, discovered by the author through Out her many travels across Azerothe, and given frank Ratings in accordance with their quality and Intrigue
location: the walls outside of dalaran in the broken isles description: i have already given a brief account of this outhouse in a previous post but, because it is a most striking specimen, i shall endeavor to describe it again here. outside of dalaran there is an outhouse that is, in of itself, fairly standard. through the portcullis on the door one can immediately see a pin up of a goblin woman affixéd to the wall opposite. if the observer then proceeds to jump, or to angle the camera downwards, they can then glimpse inside the outhouse a nude human male, who cannot be targeted as has no name. the implication, doubtless, is that this man is perpetually jacking it hardcore on kirin tor municipal property rating: a solid 7/10. the premise of this out-house is a most puerile one, but the Joake is undertaken with great simplicity and brevity. in the parlance of the times i must remark that i would, indeed, Jack Again
2. The Deadliest Poop House in Hellfire
location: expedition point in hellfire peninsula description: behind the vast and smoldering corpse of a fel reaver stands two outhouses, so situated as to resemble robust wooden sentinels observing the scene before them. the first of these outhouses is unremarkable. the second, which is pictured here, has before it the skeleton of some unfortunate, cradling a bottle in their last moments, holding the door shut with what little is left of their body. an alliance soldier patrols endlessly in front of this outhouse, her sword drawn and her expression grim, as if to prevent any hapless venturer from attempting to enter it. there appears to be nothing inside rating: 8.5/10. the fact that this is in hellfire peninsula, a zone i hate, is a mark against it, but i will admit that there is a level of enigma here that is hard to ignore. there is a story to this outhouse, a grave and frightful story, and one we will never quite know the true beginning, middle, or end of
3. Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride
location: brill, in tirisfal glades, behind the inn description: the outhouse itself is plain, drab, and dutifully silent, as all outhouses ought to be. what makes this outhouse notable is the most curious scene in which it is embroiled. a forsaken woman of silent demeanor and haunting beauty stands outside of this outhouse for all of the day and all of the night, dressed in a sombre black wedding dress and grasping roses of a similar hue (not pictured) in her bony hand. no explanation is given for her presence in this location – the outhouse itself is perpetually vacant, making it unlikely that she is simply waiting in line to use it. next to the outhouse is an open coffin full of turds rating: 10/10. this is the perfect outhouse set up and if i die ever i hope i also get to spend all of eternity standing around poop coffins in a fancy dress
sleepliving 